Journey to Self-Love this Valentine’s Day

 Title: A Middle-Aged Woman’s Journey to Self-Love this Valentine’s Day

This is part of my "New Year, New Me" series, where my goal this year is to redefine key aspects of my life. The way I see life, if this resonates with you, I invite you to join me on this journey of reflection and transformation, and I’d love to hear your valuable feedback along the way.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, my thoughts naturally drift to love. But not the kind tied to chocolates, flowers, or sweeping romantic gestures often glorified on social media. 

Instead, it’s a deeper, more meaningful love—one that I’ve overlooked for far too long. It’s the love I owe to myself.

 In a world where social media promotes love as picture-perfect moments and grand declarations, it’s time to remind ourselves that the most profound love begins within. Self-love is the foundation for every other kind of love we share 

So I decided to stand before the mirror, I found myself pausing, truly looking at my reflection for what felt like the first time in ages. Déjà vu! When did I become this version of me? 

Somewhere along the way, the vibrant, energetic younger woman I once was seemed to have faded into the background.

That’s when it struck me—I needed to redefine love this Valentine’s Day. 

The true meaning of love begins with loving yourself first. 

After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup. As the famous line goes, “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” This Valentine’s, let’s celebrate the kind of love that starts within and radiates outward.

My stories might sound familiar to a lot of ladies out there, for years, I wore many hats—wife, mother, caregiver, homemaker. Each role was fulfilling in its own way, but they came with the quiet sacrifice of putting myself last. Like many women, I believed this was the price of being a good wife and mother. Somewhere along the way, I lost touch with the person behind all those roles: me.

It wasn’t a sudden realization but a gradual one, creeping in during the quiet moments as my children became more independent. I found myself scrolling through old photos one day and came across a picture of a younger me—bright-eyed, ambitious, and full of dreams. 

That version of me wanted to paint, travel, and write. She had hopes and passions that had been buried under years of responsibility and self-imposed expectations.As I looked at that photo, a thought struck me: If I could speak to her, what would I say? And the answer was clear: “I’m sorry for not taking care of you the way you deserved.”

The Myths of Sacrifice

Society often glorifies the idea of women sacrificing themselves for their families. I bought into this wholeheartedly, thinking that putting everyone else’s needs above mine was virtuous.

But here’s the truth: when you neglect yourself for too long, it breeds resentment. Instead of giving from a place of love, you begin giving out of obligation, and the joy in everything diminishes.

The turning point for me came with the realization that self-love isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

What Self-Love Really Means

Self-love isn’t about arrogance or selfishness. It’s about appreciating who you are, flaws and all, and treating yourself with kindness and respect. It’s about embracing your worth without seeking external validation.

True self-love involves:

• Accepting your imperfections without judgment.

• Setting boundaries to protect your mental and emotional well-being.

• Prioritizing your physical and mental health.

• Finding joy in your unique journey without comparing yourself to others

Learning to Love Myself Again

Let me tell you reclaiming self-love wasn’t easy for me. At first, even small acts of self-care felt indulgent. Taking a long bath or reading a book seemed like luxuries I didn’t deserve. 

But then I reminded myself: I would never tell my children they didn’t deserve to care for themselves, so why was it okay for me to believe that about myself?

Here are some ways I learned to love myself again and hope it will help others too:

1. Start Small:
   I began by carving out just 10 minutes a day for myself. Whether it was journaling, meditating, or simply sitting in silence, those moments became sacred.

2. Reconnect with Old Passions:
   I dusted off my paintbrushes and started painting again. It wasn’t about creating masterpieces but about rediscovering a piece of myself.

3. Set Boundaries:
   Saying “no” without guilt was one of the hardest lessons to learn, but it has been liberating. Protecting my energy is an act of love.

4. Write Myself a Love Letter:
   Sounds funny, Right?, but believe me it really works. I took time to reflect on my achievements, growth, and qualities. It felt strange at first, but it helped me see myself in a new light.

5. Practice Gratitude:
   Instead of focusing on what I lacked, I started listing things I appreciated about myself and my life.

6. Disconnect from Social Media:
   Taking breaks from social media freed me from the trap of comparison and helped me focus on my own happiness.

7. Seek Support:
   Surrounding myself with uplifting friends and joining a women’s group reminded me that I’m not alone in this journey.

The Ripple Effect of Self-Love

As I began to nurture myself, something amazing happened: I became a better wife, mother, and friend. Believe me when we treat ourselves with compassion, we naturally extend that compassion to others. Self-love has a ripple effect, enriching not only our own lives but also the lives of those around us.

Final Thoughts

This Valentine’s Day, I’m redefining the meaning of love for myself and hoping others can do so. To me, it’s about honoring the most important relationship I’ll ever have—the one with myself.

It’s about letting go of guilt, embracing my journey, and celebrating the woman I am today.

To anyone reading this, especially the women who feel like they’ve lost themselves, I want you to know: It’s never too late to find your way back to yourself. You are not just the roles you play; you are a person deserving of love, starting with your own.

Because the most meaningful love story begins within. 💕